Saturday, October 30, 2010

Naked Ironing People

I work in the city, on Level 29 of a high-rise. Most of the time it's fairly easy to forget the view as we remain glued to our computer screens, every so often startled when a window cleaner abseils against the glass. However the city is not only offices, directly opposite the side of the building where my team sits there is a fancy apartment building. These apartments have full wall floor-to-ceiling windows, so the views from the higher floors must be spectacular. Yet the glass is definitely not tinted, and we can see everything. It's kind of like looking at a dolls house, all the different little tables and chairs, and layout of the various rooms.

Enter the Naked Ironing Couple. It doesn't take much for us to see them - in fact, it would be hard not to see them, because they choose to do their morning ironing right up against the window of their apartment, facing outwards. We never see them together, it's always one or the other.

Naked Ironing Lady likes to iron on the floor. She puts the ironing board on the ground with the legs down and kneels down on the floor in front of it. The fascinating aspect is that she'll spend literally 30minutes ironing one item of clothing. She seems very relaxed and peaceful, as if she's performing a beloved morning ritual.

Naked Ironing Man is more of your traditional Aussie male. He irons standing up with the board in upright position, butt naked and using just one hand on the iron. Several of my coworkers have expressed concern re the obvious proximity of man-bits to hot iron. We've considered filing a health & safety notice with their building. Somebody should really do something about that.

The other morning Naked Ironing Lady was at it again. It's worth noting that my company provides all breakfast and lunch food for staff each day, and the area that I work in is near the staff kitchen. I was standing near the window with a coworker because we'd noticed a window cleaner on the wall of the apartment building and were discussing what might happen once they reached Naked Ironing Lady's window. Would they see her? Would she see them? What reactions would there be? As people came through the office from the kitchen they came over and joined in the conversation/observation. So before long we have our Sales Director standing there eating his cornflakes, a couple of guys from the Finance department with their toast, and various other people all in our cubicle staring out the window.

Suddenly I was struck by the absurdity and inappropriateness of what we were doing. Because it's one thing to have them doing it right in front of us and notice, but I can't see them from my own desk, and that's where I should be! So I got back to work, noting that we really were all quite perverted. The crowd dispersed.

The debate rages as to whether Naked Ironing Couple have any idea that we can see them. One of the Executive Assistants insists that they must know, and that it's deliberate voyeurism. But if that were the case I suspect they would glance up from time to time, curious as to whether they'd attracted an audience. They appear absorbed in their ironing, completely unaware of the world around them. I assume that our windows are tinted on the outside, so they can't see us even though we're very close by.

Oh, and FTR, she finished ironing and packed up before the window cleaners reached her level. So I guess we'll never know what might have happened....

No comments:

Post a Comment